Saturday, June 18, 2005
The greatest fool.
I'm such an ingrate who simply shrugs people off and shut my heart from them when I don't feel them anymore. I realized what is big heart, and I need to have a big heart that will start accomodating more people in it too, not just the selected few who is already in and those I deem can be in. The love in this heart cannot be subtracted or be replace simply because every being is different - they come in different faces, different personalities, different gender and different areas for me to show love to.
And I am the fool - who casted someone out long enough to nearly feel nothing about it. When I'm well protected by, when I'm loved and cared by, I took it for granted and even show faces when I dislike about something else. And when I've casted somebody out, I feel pain and lonely. Oh, Lord, why am I like this? Won't You come, and feel the void in my heart.
Being such a spoilt brat; always wanting things in my own ways, being such an unreasonable girl; who listens to no explaination and start casting those eyes, I am greatly loved by Genia. She loves me simply of who am I; the misunderstood girl who hurts her with words and actions, the prideful girl that shove her away and the helpless girl who needs to be loved.
Now I hope that love will wash all unhappiness, jealousy and worries in me.
Sigh. I just had a friend who comes up to me telling me he almost lost his life. Life and death is so far to be seen yet so near to encounter. Won't you, people, just treasure your life for it is precious? Even if it's not for yourself, think of those who loves and cares for you.
maoed.]
at 1:57 AM
+++His child.
jiayi; jean. 060488// hope// sound ministry// neb1// grace's sheep// phs// 5compassion// basketball//
+++smiles.
Him// simpsonx// shuping// red.black.white// eight// violin// guitar// disney// animals// kids// adidas// bottoms// horror::thrillers// watermelon// peach// mango// tomato// tea// fish// white chocs// marshmellows// shopping// friendships
+++frowns.
noise// dirtiness// chili// pork// snake// comedies// thunders// lightnings//
+++memories.
chalet//
courageous camp//
devotees//
devotees`bbq//
faith camp//
firework`04//
foundation camp//
life in the kingdom//
neb//
phs`03//
phs'04//
seventeen//
siMpsOnx//
student conference//
the ultimate dare//
+++books.
a love worth giving// a woman's answer to anger// every young woman's battle// helping others without hurting yourself// journeys of friendship//
if you want to walk on water, you've got to get out of the boat// in the grip of grace// love beyond reason// loving God with all your mind// recapture the world//
the friendship's of women// traveling light// wild at heart// words that hurt words that heal//
